You guys deserve an update

I know I've been gone for a while, and I'm sorry for the long absence. Everything just hit me very hard, and life's been kind of... Well... Horrible.
As I said in my last post almost a month ago, Allen is dead. More specifically, he was murdered. The assailant has not yet been identified, but I know it was the guy I saw following me. He hasn't stopped, by the way, as I keep seeing him everywhere.And even though I haven't gotten any more bouquets since the 'incident', I'm pretty sure he's to blame for all the weird stuff going on around here, especially in the garden.

I should probably elaborate on all that.
Starting off, I obviously am no longer living at home, nor at Allen's house. I've moved in with a family member, and for both their and my safety, I don't want to say who, or where we are. Also, after the murder, the police finally started taking me seriously about the whole stalking thing, and I was put in police protection. However, that is no longer the case, as I'll explain soon.

Everything started the day of the murder, October 7th. I'd gotten a call from work, saying that I'd gotten this huge bouquet delivered to my desk, and some of the other workers were wondering about it, since I wasn't supposed to be coming in that day. I was freaked out, so I wanted to get Allen to drive me down there, but he wasn't anywhere around the house. I remember thinking it was strange, since he was supposed to be off work too, but I was trying not to freak myself out more than I already was. I think I rationalized it as he went to the gym or something stupid.
I didn't want to just leave the stupid bouquet there, so I went out for it myself.
It really was a lovely bouquet, but then again, all of them had been. It was overpoweringly red-- Roses, columbines, geraniums, carnations, amaryllis, all a strikingly blood-red hue. Love. Anxiety. Pride. Comfort. This one bouquet said quite a bit, but I didn't really understand why so much was necessary. Love was becoming usual for this guy, but why the others? The amaryllis, which mean pride, were probably the most prevalent in the arrangement, which totally puzzled me. What did he have to be proud of?
I found out soon, though, when I got home to a pair of uniforms waiting at my door. They told me they'd found a body, and that I'd need to identify it.
Of course, it was Allen. A hiker'd found him just outside of town, on a trail. He'd described the scene as 'beautiful, but horrifying'. Apparently, Allen was sprawled out rather unceremoniously amid a large patch of fumitory. Fumitory, of course, not being even close to indigenous to my region. And of course, it stands for hatred.
It made sense, then. It was almost like I could hear his voice in my head, speaking to me through the flowers. I did it for you, because I love you more than anything. I was nervous you wouldn't like me, and even if you don't, I'm still here. More now than ever, because now he's gone. Oh yes, I'm so proud of my work. He's finally out of the way, and now we can be together...
And that's not even the end of it. Since then, the garden outside the house has been changing. Unnaturally. I've been finding flowers growing that weren't there just days before, and some of them don't even grow in North America. As crazy as it sounds, it feels like this guy is manipulating the flowers to communicate how he's feeling to me. It started out with nothing but love and admiration, then slowly transitioned to need and impatience. I've been finding a lot of yellow balsam as of late.
And I still haven't even told you the worst of it! The police have been suspecting me of murdering Allen since last week! Apparently, since the officers that have been watching me haven't seen this guy, they think I made him up, so I could murder Allen and pin it on some invisible stalker. I guess they're not perusing it too much, though, since I haven't been called back for questioning since the last time. The bad thing about it is that they've taken all the cops that were protecting the house before off it, so I'm totally defenseless now...

And as for the whole 'stalking' thing... I do have a history with stalkers. Or, well, a stalker. It was a long time ago, but it was kind of a traumatic experience, and I don't really want to go into it if I don't have to.

Why?

Why me? Why do I have to go through this torture again? Why choose ME of all people?

It's not fair. It's just not fair.

Allen is dead.

Stalker

This guy is stalking me.

God, I never wanted to have to deal with something like this again. It was bad enough the first time.

I saw him outside Allen's house this morning. It was the same guy from the movies, I know because he was still wearing that ridiculous outfit, and I could see his goddamn grin from inside. It somehow looked wider this time, which I didn't think as possible. It was almost like his mouth was stretching across his face.

He was out there for a good ten minutes, and I just watched him. He didn't even move the entire time I watched him. I had no idea what to do, so I just waited until he left. He just... Walked away.

I told Allen about it a few minutes later, and he went to go attack the guy, but he said when he went out there there was no one around. He did find another bouquet, though. No note this time, just marigolds and yellow roses, which basically screams jealousy.
Oh, since I got that second bouquet, I've been researching the language of the flowers pretty closely. I'm even going to start attending flower arrangement classes at the local floral shop, so so I'll be better at identifying flowers.

The police finally agreed to do something, now that I've seen him (but really, I just think they're tired of seeing me), and they're gonna have the patrol cars come around Allen's and my houses several times a day to keep an eye out for him. I'd love to get a restraining order or something, but they said I can't get one if I don't know who the hell the guy is. Makes sense, but it doesn't put any of my nerves at ease. Instead, Allen wants to show me how to fire hid handgun. I've never been one for guns, but if it means I can avoid going through the hell I went through a few years back... I'll do it. I know handguns aren't too hard to fire, either, so I guess it can't hurt.

Meant to update yesterday

Sorry, it's just been a bit... Crazy over the past few days. I've been staying over at Allen's because I really don't trust my house right now. I went to the police Saturday, but they said since I had no proof someone actually broke in, they wouldn't do anything.
Yesterday evening, though, I got a weird messages on my phone. And I don't mean a text message, either. It's weird, because I have my phone on all the time, and I usually hear it ringing, and I don't have it set to go to voice mail or anything, but I got a voice mail from a guy. It's a little hard to make out, but it's definitely a male voice, and he's talking to me like he knows me very well. He keeps saying things like, 'When are you coming home, darling?' and 'I miss seeing you'. I took THAT to the police and they still won't do anything about it. They say it's probably just some prankster, and if I haven't seen anyone suspicious around that there's nothing to be worried about.
Allen's pissed, of course. But I mean, so am I, so it's not like he's the only one. I don't know how long I'll be staying here, or even what I plan on doing.

Also noteworthy is Allen's theory. Hell, it's not even a theory, it's pretty obviously fact. But... I really don't want to think about it. We're both pretty sure this guy calling and giving me flowers is the same one we saw after the movies, and Allen said he's probably...

...Shit, I don't even want to say it. Dammit, the word brings back horrible memories. I don't ever want to go though that hell again...

Guess what I just found

Sitting on my kitchen table, of all places, was another bouquet. I've been home all day, and I'm pretty sure my back door has been locked all day. And unless someone snuck through when I was upstairs or something, they couldn't have gotten from the front door to the kitchen without me noticing.

It's full of white bellflowers, primroses, and yellow roses. I can't lie, it's honestly a lovely bouquet... But having it around just makes me more uncomfortable. I don't know what to do with it, honestly.
And I already looked into them; Bellfowers mean "thinking of you", primroses mean 'eternal love', and yellow roses usually mean 'friendship'. They can also mean jealousy, though, which actually makes more sense with the card that was attached to them.

Oh, yeah, did I mention there was a creepy-ass card attached this time? It says "You will be mine and no one else's" in thin, elegant letters.

I'm honestly scared of my own house right now. The locks were changed after that last incident... Did someone somehow get a new key?
Fuck. I gotta get out of here, I'm jumping at every noise... I'm going over to Allen's house for the night.

Went to see Finding Nemo 3D

Yeah, sorry, but I don't really think it's worth reviewing ^ ^; I mean, we all know it's a great movie, why review it? The 3D did look pretty good, though, and it was great seeing it again. I did feel a bit weird, as the theater was full of parents with their kids and 21-year-old me and Allen, but it was fun anyways.

I didn't actually have the dream last night, thank god. I was beginning to get tired of it, honestly. Though there was another bit of strangeness after leaving the theater today... There was this guy outside in this completely ridiculous, totally out-of-place trench coat and a large rimmed hat.  He kind of reminded me of the Ninja Turtles, when they tried to disguise themselves outside of the sewers.
Despite how stupid he looked, though, he was honestly kind of creepy. If it had been dark, and Allen weren't there, I probably would have maced him ^ ^; He was grinning at me, with his hat pulled down in front of his eyes. He seemed to follow Allen and I back to the car. Allen ended yelling at him to piss off, which he (thankfully) did. Even when he ran, though, he kept grinning. It gives me the chills just thinking about it, to be honest.
...It also kind of hurts me head. Thinking about it, I mean. Whenever I think about the guy, I get this headache and I start feeling kind of tired again... Ugh. I just hope I don't see him around again.

I keep having that dream

But there's something a little different about it now... I don't know, it's really strange. I go in and sit down with Allen, like I normally would, but there's only one other guy in the theater. I remember the first time I had it, there were at least a few other people.

Anyways, after the movie starts up, I notice this guys is just staring at me. Well, I mean, I can't really tell if he's staring at me or not, since it's dark and I can really only see his silhouette, but he's definitely turned around in his seat and looking in my direction. It was rather unnerving, honestly.

I asked Allen about it, and he confirmed this version of the dream-- There was only one other guy in the theater. He said he didn't get a good look at the guy, and he never really paid any attention to him, so he has no clue whether or not the guy was actually turned around and looking at us. Apparently I didn't say anything to him about it, at the time.

I have no idea what this means... But I'm pretty sure it means something...

I had a nightmare last night

It was really weird... Almost completely real, I swear. I went to the movies with Allen, and it was The Possession. I actually remembered walking into the theater, sitting down, and watching the movie. It's fuzzy, but I seriously remember watching the movie in my dream! Maybe it was some sort of... Repressed memory? But why would I repress the memory of the movie...? Was it just THAT bad?

Ugh. I'm so confused.

I've been kind of out of it

Ever since the 'incident'. I think Allen's been taking notice. He said we ca go see another movie in a couple days, if I'm up to it. I think I want to take him up on the offer, though I don't know what to go see. Anyone have any suggestions? As long as I don't lose it again, I'll try reviewing that one.

Also, a commenter suggested I learn the language of flowers, after the whole bouquet thing. I looked into it, and it honestly seems pretty interesting.
According to wikipedia;

• Daffodils represent 'Uncertainty, chivalry, respect or unrequited love'
• Forget-me-nots represent 'True Love' (and from what I read, maybe remembrance for the deceased)
• And it took me a while, but I think the purple flowers I couldn't identify before are 'Heliotropes', representing 'Devotion'

...That's a lot of love, there. Allen sure didn't deliver the bouquet; when I told him all this, he actually seemed pretty pissed there might be another guy making a move on me. I have no idea who could have delivered it, or when, and I still don't know where that vase came from. It's pretty plain, just a simple, clear, glass vase with no designs or anything important on it. 

Oh, and the locksmith is coming by tomorrow morning. Other than that, there's not too much else to report.

Update

Alright, well, I figured I should update you guys, in case anyone was worried about what happened yesterday. I talked to Allen, and he said I seemed completely fine during the movie yesterday, and when he dropped me off. I still can't remember anything from about the time when I was picked up until I woke up after I'd gotten home, aside from those flowers.

I found them, by the way. They were upstairs, in my bedroom, in a vase I've never seen before. As I said before, everything is foggy, but... I don't remember ever going upstairs after I got home. It's especially unnerving that I found my backdoor partially ajar, and unlocked on top of that. Other than the flowers, though, nothing seems out of place. Nothing is missing, either. I don't want to call the police over something silly like this, but I'm still nervous... I can't even be sure if my backdoor was unlocked when I left or not, but I'm getting my locks changed anyways.

Oh, and I'm not an expert on flowers or anything, but in case it might mean something to anyone... The bouquet consisted of daffodils, Forget-Me-Nots (ha), and these cute, tiny, purple flowers that I don't know the name of

And I know this was supposed to be a blog for movie reviews. I'll try to post one soon... I don't know the next time I'll be going to see a new movie, though. Sorry!

Um

First off, I fixed my timezone, because I apparently had it totally off. But anyways, on to more important matters.

I... Don't remember posting that last entry. Even more embarrassing, I don't remember the movie. At all.

I remember leaving with Allen to go to the movie... And I briefly remember being dropped off back at home afterwords...
I think there was something on my doorstep. Yeah, there was. I think it was... A bouquet of flowers, maybe? And then... I felt so tired...

I woke up maybe ten minutes ago on the couch. I remembered the blog, and the review, so I booted up my laptop and got ready for the review when I realized I didn't remember a thing about the movie. How can I review it, then?

Ugh, it's so frustrating! Why can't I remember it? I don't even remember what it was about, honestly...

And now that I think about it, if there were flowers on my doorstep, where'd they go? I don't see them down here...

tired

just got back from the movie im so tired

im going to go take a nap...



pretty flowers...

Finally!

Wow! I've wanted to make a blog like this for just about as long as I can remember... And now I'm finally doing it!

So, what is this blog all about? Well, as you're all no doubt aware, there are already tons of movie critics out there, but... I've kind of always wanted to try my hand at it myself. As a matter of fact, my boyfriend and I are going out to see The Possession later today, and when we get back, I might try reviewing it right here!

Pretty much, this is basically just an introductory post to let anyone who might be reading this know what I'm gonna be all about. Look forward to it, I hope it end up working out.